How Do You Spell RELIEF?

When I read this on Facebook recently, it took me back to a time in my life not too long ago when I use to seek comfort from others by pouring out my woes over and over again to them.  I didn't seem to understand that no matter how willing they listened, the pain remained when my sharing finished.

I realize now that the person listening at the time did care about me, but they couldn't erase my pain.  My talking only provided temporary relief for that moment, but when alone again, the problem still loomed heavily over me.

However, several years ago, it finally dawned on me that I needed to break this unhealthy pattern in my life.  The Lord revealed to me that the reason my talking brought no healing was because I expected other humans to solve my hurt.  One can barely handle their own emotional wounds let alone someone else's.

When I understood this, a veil came off of my heart.  I saw Jesus inviting me into His open arms and lap. He assured me that He wanted to be near me even when I didn't react properly to a situation.  He didn't require me to get my act together first.  Instead He reminded me to bring all my fears, anger, hurts, and disappointments to Him.  Not only could He handle my problems, but He could bring about a solution too.

I love and appreciate all my friends.  They are beautiful sisters who have extend the same grace and mercy they have received back to me.  Many of them are still willing to journey with me through the ups and downs of life.

What I realize though is that it's important for every answer to point us back to Jesus.  He is in the business of making something beautiful from our ashes. Temporary relief from someone's listening ear is a nice gift, but praise the Lord for the One who satisfies entirely!!

Words of Healing

It's been several years ago, but the impact of that moment remains with me forever.  I sat in Starbucks with a dear friend, pouring out the deep hurts oozing from my heart.  The loss of a friendship that came with painful words and unkind actions left me reeling.  When I shared my struggle about wondering whether I had much to offer, she grabbed a 3 x 5 index card from my Bible and wrote the following message:

The spelling error adds the uniqueness of this card!

It took some time for me to grasp the full truth of these words.  As I read it over and over, I began to think of all the people that messed us in the Scriptures.  David called a man after God's own heart.  Abraham referred to as God's  friend.  Paul once a murderer of Christians becoming a great evangelist of his day.  Peter the one who denied Jesus and later dies for Him.

I began to realize that if God could transform their willing hearts, He could do it for me too.

In time, I came to appreciate the friends that loved me over the years with all my quirks.  They have strived with me to reach toward my full potential.  They helped me along the way and were instrumental in pointing me toward the truth.  It was through their commitment to me that I finally believed God and begin to appreciate the person He made me to be.

Yes, we can look to the Lord for our acknowledgment and restoration.  He is pleased to do it!  

Thankfully, it also please Him to send Himself in the package of His children who willing extend the grace and mercy they received toward others.

Pleasing Him needs to be our goal, and when it is, there IS freedom!

Not My Shoes

We think we know.  Maybe we actually want to know.  Reality is, we can't even begin to understand what it means to walk or live in the shoes of others. They will never quite fit. Frankly, they aren't meant to fit.  They aren't our shoes.

So much damage is done by our words and actions when we make judgments about others.  I can't even count on two hands the times I ended up finding out I placed my foot in my mouth because of my wrong conclusions.  Many relationships have been destroyed due to an unwillingness to give another person the benefit of the doubt.

What would life be like if we actually learned to keep our shoes on and walk beside others while they walk in theirs instead of trying to put theirs on?

We Are the Church

      Finishing up Beth Moore's study, "Believing God" proved to be a great decision.  After teaching what we needed to believe about the Lord and ourselves, she took us on a journey down memory lane in a way I never traveled before.  She had us take our age and divide it by five.  My age meant looking at it in ten year spans, adding a couple more to the last fifth age period.  The common question in each age category she asked us to examine:  "Who spiritually influenced your life during this time?"

     The first ten years of my life, my father faithfully brought me to church.  It was a beautiful building, but I remember always feeling empty and yearning for answers never given through the sermons.  Something was missing, but I had no idea what.  I don't wish to make mention of the denomination, because I know that my experience happens in every denomination.  However, for the first tens years, I believe I walked into a building called "church", but don't believe it was the church Jesus commissioned His disciples to form when He said, "Go into the all world and make disciples".  Nevertheless, those first ten years provided a foundation for me to be open to the gospel when it finally came into my life at fifteen.

(Photo just for blog.  Know nothing about this quaint place.)

     In second decade of my life, the Lord brought ALL those significant people that had the greatest impact on my spiritual journey.  It is because of their influences that today I believe God is who He says He is, God can do what He says He can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, and God's Word is alive and active in me.

     The first person came into my life my freshman year of high school.  She invited me to a retreat with her youth group and because of that invitation, I met Jesus as my Savior five months later at the local evangelistic meetings held in our area.  My sophomore year of high school, the Lord brought another friend who became my best friend throughout high school.  She invested a lot of time teaching me how to dig into God's Word and finding His gems of truth.  

     With my father's blessing, I left my quaint "church building" and started attending youth group with my friend. I attended another retreat, and this time one of the leaders took an interest in me and became my spiritual mentor.  She invested a lot of time and energy into this messed up teen, who actually gave her more challenge than her own children ever did at that age.

     My college years brought two more lifetime sisters-in-the-Lord, and my husband into my life.  We dated for only a short time, parted ways, and reunited and married five years later.  All three of these special people are still be in my life, except one, who met our Savior several years ago after her two year battle of cancer.

     All of these people that entered my life during this decade saw beyond this messed up person to someone they believed God could transform for His service.  All of them displayed God's grace, mercy, and unconditional love to me.  They showed me what it meant to be a child of God and how it looked in every day living.  They showed me the reality of this song that sadly I never saw lived out in that first "building"I attended for ten years:

I am the church.

You are the church.

We are the church together.

All who follow Jesus.

All around the world.

We are the church together.

Choosing Health

What the Lord desired had been clearly defined.  Cain knew it but refused to do it. He became angry when the Lord turned down his grain offering.  The Lord warned Cain about the danger with his wrong attitude and actions.  He offered him another chance to make it right.  Cain refused to heed the Lord's warning, and this resulted in him murdering his brother.

Cain didn't want boundaries.  He demanded his offering be accepted his way. He didn't want the Lord telling him what to do and how to do it.  Scriptures don't give us the answer to the reason Cain had developed such a self-centered attitude except for the reality of sin's existence.  We do know that he rebelled, and the end result was death.

Sin crouches at our hearts.  We cry, "Unfair," when we don't get our own way.  We say we want to follow the Lord, but often times go along with His boundaries when they conveniently go along with our plans.  More often then not, we insist on our way.  We dislike boundaries, because we don't understand the safety they provide.

Many times this happens to those who grow up in homes where the adults crossed boundaries that violated innocence.  When those that are to protect a person, don't, then the child seeks ways to survive.  As a result, unhealthy patterns develop that may take decades for someone to recognize.

Learning to set healthy boundaries in our lives when we've never done it before is difficult. It's especially hard to face our own unhealthiness when in means walking away from a person we love and care about but are not good for us.  This becomes especially hard when it's family members such as parents and siblings.

When it's a spouse, ideally, the Lord desires both partners to do what is necessary for reconciliation and restoration.  He ultimately wants this for all relationships, because He is a God of reconciliation, but we can only do our part in choosing healthy ways of living and making it right with others.

As we recognize our unhealthiness and begin to pull away to seek health, we may find the other person respond with more hatefulness, criticism, and condemnation. Suddenly, the relationship becomes severed by painful words and actions.  It doesn't necessarily have to take place, but we can't stop someone else from making this choice.

Our responsibility is to guard against responding in retaliation toward others for their unhealthy choices and hurtful words or actions toward us.  We must continue on the path toward our own health, because no one else can give it to us.  We also need to remember that just as it took time for our blinders to fall off so we could see our unhealthiness, it's a process for others too.

Sometimes the healthiest things we can do is to walk away from unhealthy relationships in our lives and pray for their healing as we journey toward our own.  It actually takes a lot of courage to recognize when we're unhealthy and to seek the freedom that comes with this truth when it means parting ways with those we love who may hinder our growth.

This path can be hard, lonely, and difficult.  However, when it's all said and done, it's worth it.  Jesus walks with us toward this transformation, and He always completes the work He started.  Grab His hand and walk with Him.  You won't regret it.

Get in His Box

When we put Jesus in a box, we've limited Him.  He is only as big as we can imagine.  He can only do what we believe He can do.  He wants to do more for us, but unbelief keeps Him at bay.

However, when we jump into His box, we've now given Him the freedom in our lives to do exceedingly beyond whatever we could ever think or imagine.  We serve a mighty God that goes beyond our beyond.

Our enemy wants us to box God in, because he knows when we are in God's box we become dangerous to his deceptive plans and schemes against us.  Jesus calls us beyond the comfortable to step into the water believing He will part them.  He wants us to know that any plot against us will result in the enemy being fed to the lions instead.

Let God out of your box and jump into His today and then stand back and watch Him move!

Thanksgiving Transforms the Heart

Thankfulness makes a difference.  It helps you find the good despite your circumstances.  It changes the attitude. It is indeed, life changing.

When I first read Ann Voskamp's book, "One Thousand Gifts" in the summer of 2011, I wasn't so sure.  I decided to take the challenge though and begin my own 1000 list.

It was slow happening.  I didn't see the transformation happening, but it did!

My life still has waves swirling on the side of me, but I don't focus on them.  Instead, I'm riding on a surfboard with Jesus over those waves.  I wobble at times, but praise Jesus, I've not fallen off into the pits of depression and despair again.

In the summer of 2012, I stopped taking all of my anti-depressant and anxiety medications.  I no longer need them, even when the waves threaten to topple me over.

I believe what Jesus says about me, and that is because I believe Jesus is Who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do.  With those truths in place, I KNOW I can do all things through Christ and the transformation in my heart and life is proof that His Word is alive and active in me.

Struggling?  My suggestion would be to begin your  own 1,000 thanksgiving list.  As you look for His goodness in your daily life, you will be amazed at the transformation that will take place in your heart and life.