Monday, July 4, 2016
I recently handed in my resignation at my job. With it, I sat down with my manager and supervisor and gave them an explanation as to the reason this place of employment was no longer a good fit for me. I honestly but kindly voiced the areas that caused me concern and the reasons that I no longer felt comfortable working there.
During my three years of employment I've sat down with the leadership within and without my branch many times to discuss my issues with the way things were being done. Sometimes it resulted in the necessary changes or a compromise that was best for everyone. Other times the only adjustment necessary was with me and my attitude.
I made sure whenever I talked about my issues, I didn't degrade the person, even though I strongly disagreed with their methods in doing the job. I always treated my co-workers with kindness and respect even when no compromise took place.
When it came time to leave, I didn't butter my resignation with "God's leading" me away. The truth is, rarely will anyone seek a new place of employment when they love their present one. Dissatisfaction with the job or workplace causes one to look for something new.
Yes, I believe the Lord provided my new job, and it will be a better fit for me. Yet, I left because I wasn't happy there, and I accept full responsibility for my lack of contentment. I displayed honor in my explanation of my decision, and when I left I did it without burning any bridges in my relationships with the people there.
Honestly, it breaks my heart as a pastor's wife when the same consideration and kindness doesn't take place within our places of ministry. I understand the need for some to leave and seek a ministry they feel may better fit their preferences. What hurts is the way most choose to do it.
Some leave without ever voicing what they are unhappy about to my husband, and others voice their struggles but eventually leave. The decision to seek a different ministry is not the issue as much as what is done in the process of leaving or after they leave. Both groups described above, usually leave and proceeded to speak unkind words to others about my husband's personality, education, methods, and/or talents. Rarely do we hear they have complained about his theology or doctrine.
I myself fell prey to this sin when it came to my problems with my job, and then the Lord reminded me that voicing my complaint about others behind their back dishonored Him. He showed me that if I was unable to work out my differences with others face-to-face, He wanted me keep my words to myself and choose to disagree in an agreeable and kind manner toward them and when speaking about them. I realized since I was the one uncomfortable with the way things were being done at my job, I needed to seek employment that better fit my needs and preferences.
People have never told my husband they were leaving, because they didn't feel it was a good fit for them anymore. Instead they have given false excuses while telling others the real reason. Others buried my husband alive in their cruel and angry words before leaving.
My husband's conclusion after multiple exit interviews like these over the years was to no longer seek doing one with those who don't ask for it. He lets people leave without providing them with an opportunity to sin against him. The church is a voluntary place to serve and everyone has a right to stay or go. May we always choose to make our decisions in a way that honors the Lord and others at all times.
at 6:00 AM
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
My panties are definitely bunched in a wad. I accidentally and carelessly backed my Lacrosse into someone's car parked in my driveway, and my husband’s silence unraveled my emotional security. Despite the minimal damage to both vehicles and no one being injured by the incident,the claim increased our insurance’s monthly premium by 20%.
I understand the reason my husband lacked words for me. Unfortunately I'm prone to these types of incidents when I'm behind schedule or rushing through a task. I don't intend to damageproperty or even hurt the feelings of others when I'm in a hurry or preoccupied.
In fact, I beat myself up when I realize the consequences of my actions. It really irritates meeven more that I can't undo it either. I desperately wish when we took responsibility for our actions and sought restoration that it instantly made a permanent erasure of the entire occurrence.
Since the elimination of my mishap was impossible, I thought about it all the way to work the following day. I found myself mostly wallowing in the sorrow over my husband's irritation with me. As I prayed through my disappointed feelings with his response, I discovered how easily I let others responses affect my mood.
Suddenly the Lord brought to mind Ephesians 2:10 (NASB), a verse I read that morning. “We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” As I cried out to the Lord with my frustrations, He popped aspecific application into my thoughts. In that moment I realized the “good work the Lord prepared beforehand” for me to learn was to not let others’ choices steal my joy and peace.
I must admit. Despite how easily those words flow on to paper, their application to everyday living presented a challenge to me. Even as I meditated on the Lord's desire for my walk, I knew without a doubt that the task in front of me would be a moment-by-moment challenge of obedience.
The reality of life is that we all face days when we find ourselves bombarded withopportunities to respond to others who ignore us, speak rudely to us, or blame us for their poor attitudes and actions. Outwardly we may appear to have responded correctly to them, but inside we may be seething. It requires every ounce of self-control to muster up a desperate prayer to the Lord, seal our lips, and avoid blurting out our real thoughts or reactions.
However, we experience tremendous freedom as we trust the Lord to enable us to remain obedient in our thoughts. We also discover how uncomplicated our lives become for us, when we learn to eat humble pie and fight the battles in our heads in silence. It’s easier to face the Lord with our sinful thoughts than working out issues with others injured by our hurtful words and actions.
As I reflected on my husband’s response, the Lord showed me that sometimes the “good work prepared” for me is acceptance of the gift of silence. My husband understood the way I personally beat myself up for my carelessness and didn’t wish to add to my pain with hurtful words. In those moments on my drive to work, I chose to receive my husband’s gift with joy and peace.
at 3:50 AM
Friday, January 1, 2016
I noticed through my office window, a customer leaving her home. A thought ran through my mind that I wish I could talk to her about my book. I knew the Lord would need to make it happen, because this customer usually only comes to our drive-up window.
I went on with my work forgetting all about my random thought. An hour passed when suddenly that same customer walked into our branch. The services she needed required me taking her into my office where I kept a supply of my books.
I instantly told her that when I saw her earlier I felt a desire to show her my book. She read the back cover, asked to purchase it, and informed me she just got back from the doctor's office with a depression diagnosis.
We both agreed that the Lord winked and provided me with the resources to give a story of hope and healing to her. I love when the Lord uses me and my past to help others.
Do you follow the leading of the Lord when He lays it on your heart to do something?
at 4:09 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
"...a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home..." Luke 10:38
Martha invited Jesus into her home. In fact, she welcomed Him into her personal space. Yes, she got distracted by all the preparations, but we must not lose focus on the fact that she wanted Him in her home.
When she spoke to Jesus over her concern with Mary not helping her, she once again invited Him into her life. She opened herself up for the opportunity for Jesus to speak into her life. She believed Mary needed correcting when in fact the attitude adjustment was her own.
Even though it must have been difficult to receive, she heeded the words of truth spoken to her by Jesus. Later when we see Jesus in her home again, we find her serving Him well.
Do we welcome Jesus into our lives and give Him permission to speak truth into our lives? Or are we too concerned over what we believe others should be doing for us that we miss His loving instructions?
at 4:05 AM