Projected Thoughts and Feelings

I made a comment in passing.  There were no deep thoughts or accusations in my mind regarding the character of the person when I said it.  I meant no harm in what I said.  I certainly had not intended to hurt the receiver or to even say anything mean about them.  Yet, it did hurt them.  My comment instantly said more to them than what originally was intended by my words.

The interesting thing about this incident is that the recipient of my comment actually projected into my words all kinds of feelings and meanings that the words never meant to me.  The person took my words and accused me of not thinking the best of them.  They placed on me the very judgment they believed I placed on them.

Suddenly, what they thought I said in my comment now began to fill my mind.  My mind now raced with all kinds of thoughts about them.  Suddenly what they believed I meant by my comment took on a life of its own within my thoughts.

This suddenly got me thinking.  How often do we project our own feelings into something said to us? Sure, there are indeed times when people deliberately set out to say things to hurt us.  However, don't we often jump to wrong conclusions based on our interpretations of the words said to us? How often do we actually hear what might never have been said or intended to be heard?  I believe more often than we care to admit.

I've now lived long enough to say, that this is precisely why many relationships have been fractured and many times destroyed.  We hear something and instantly project our feelings into what we believed they meant by what they said to us.

Now, of course, if we feel good about what was said, all is well.  However, if what we believe we heard causes us to question ourselves, then we instantly believe the person intended on hurting us. I put out the challenge that maybe it isn't what they intended at all.

We need to seek the Lord to do a work in us.  We can avoid a lot of self-induced pain if we just stop jumping to conclusions and letting our imaginations runaway.  We want others to believe the best about us, so let's begin by thinking the best about them.

The Artist of the Sky

I'm sure a talented artist could paint this sunrise on a canvas, catching the colors and puffs of the clouds in their drawing.  I'm sure it might even look as good as this did in real life.  However, no one but our Heavenly Father can actually paint the depth and richness of these colors into our sky, but the Creator of it.

This sunrise lasted all of about 10 minutes this morning, and then it disappeared forever.  Capturing even a portion in this picture of its beauty, got me thinking about how awesome of an Artist we love and serve.  

I'm not sure the reason He painted this scene in the sky this morning, but for me personally it reminded me of how He can do great and powerful things way beyond what we can ever imagine.  I drank in the beauty of this sky and instantly thought of His omnipotence of all creation.

What do you think about when you catch a glimpse of something breathtaking?

Enjoy or Move on

Word to the wise~~When misunderstanding happens, and inevitably they do come, the survival of the relationship will depend on how well each person willingly gives the benefit of the doubt to the other person. We can choose to believe the best instead of the worst about one another.

Rest assured that if a minor misunderstanding ends the relationship, it was on its way out way before the misunderstanding.  It just means one or both parties were just waiting for the right opportunity to walk away to present itself.

Accept the fact that when someone is unwilling to work out their differences and come to a true place of understanding, it's time to let them go and move on.  Life is too short to spend with people who don't want to be with us.  We need to embrace every moment we have with those who want to journey through life with us.~~C.H.A.R.

Extinguish the Fire

The words hurt deeply, but at some point in time, we decided to not allow it to show.  We spatted off the childhood saying we learned to cover our pain, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me."  Yet, we all know it did.  

James 3 talks about the iniquity of the tongue.  With it we praise and curse others.  It only takes a spark to cause an enormous fire to burn down buildings and forests.  Once the fire gets out of control, there is no care to what it destroys in its path.

May we ponder this....if some words can injure a person, then some words can heal a person too.  May we not only strive not to harm with our words, but also to use our words as a balm over the words spoken to harm others.